Missing Student : A Heart-breaking Tale of Exclusion

It is with heavy hearts that we share the devastating news that our son, is no longer a student at a local school. After what has felt like a relentless battle to ensure that his educational needs were met, the school has terminated his enrolment. This decision didn’t just come out of the blue; it is the culmination of over a year filled with frustration, heartache and a deep sense of injustice.

The Struggle for Inclusion

From the moment our son started at school, we were committed to working collaboratively with the school to ensure that he received the adjustments necessary for his success. His unique needs require a tailored approach—an approach that we believed the school was equipped to provide. However, as time went on, it became clear that our efforts to advocate for him were not only being ignored but were also met with hostility and resistance.

We have always strived to work harmoniously with the teachers and staff. During our first year at the school, we had a beautiful relationship with his class teacher and the previous principal. As a teacher with over 20 years of experience, I deeply understand the pressures and challenges educators face. I’ve even experienced PTSD due to a past incident involving a parent, so I know firsthand the importance of maintaining positive, respectful and supportive relationships within a school community. We do everything in our power to foster a positive working environment with everyone at the school. It pains us to think that any stress the teachers might be experiencing now could stem from a lack of direction and policy related to inclusive education, rather than our actions.

A Pattern of Exclusion

In 2 emails I sent 3 days apart, I explicitly asked for details regarding the curriculum, vocabulary, and assessment criteria to help us prepare for a “consultation” meeting. The response? A vague promise that the level and detail of planning would be a "discussion point" in the upcoming meeting—essentially an excuse that providing the necessary information would increase teacher workload. This lack of transparency and refusal to engage in meaningful dialogue felt like a deliberate attempt to exclude us from the process.

Even the tools that were supposed to help our son, like the Clicker software, weren’t being used effectively. The word banks, essential for his learning, hadn’t been updated since Term 1 because the school failed to provide the necessary vocabulary. The fact that I had to guess what should be included in the word banks due to the school’s lack of communication is a clear testament to the ongoing neglect of my son’s needs.

During the Term 2 meeting, when the teacher was discussing my son’s results for Term 1, it was reported that his understanding of the science concepts was not developed. The reason he struggled to grasp the content was because his understanding of the vocabulary was limited. That’s why, every term, we asked for a word bank—an adjustment recommended by his speech therapist—and every term, our requests were denied. They set my son up to fail by not providing the appropriate adjustments he needed.

In our last "consultation" meeting at the school, we asked again for a word bank for the science unit. The teacher couldn’t answer and showed signs of distress. Then, another teacher spoke up and said, "No, as it increases teacher workload." However, she did mention the science unit they were working on that term, so after the meeting, I downloaded it myself. On page 62 of the overview, there was a word wall for the unit. I highly doubt that would increase teacher workload. It was clear they were refusing to collaborate with us as parents and with our son’s allied health team.

Unaddressed Adjustments Suggested by the Speech Therapist

I provided updated assessments from Hugh's speech therapist, an experienced professional who had worked with our son for quite some time. Her assessments included several suggested adjustments specifically tailored to support our son’s educational needs. Despite our best efforts, these suggestions were never brought up or discussed during the meeting.

Interestingly, in a letter we received from the head of the educational institution, he acknowledged the importance of up-to-date assessments for making reasonable adjustments. Yet, when we provided the necessary information as requested, it was completely ignored by the school. The adjustments were not incorporated into the Teacher Planning Document, as the school does not support using a student-centred document like an IEP (Individual Education Plan), nor were they discussed during the consultation meeting.  Adding to the confusion, the speech therapist's report highlighted that reading comprehension was a strength for Hugh, while his teacher noted it as a barrier—an inconsistency that was never addressed.

Actions Driven by Sheer Frustration

Our final “consultation” meeting was the last straw in what had become a deeply frustrating experience. Despite the mounting frustrations, Luke even joked with the teacher, about having a beer together to discuss adjustments—hardly the behaviour of someone intending to intimidate or stress the staff. The teacher’s apparent ease in this interaction makes it hard to believe that he was under the kind of stress the school now claims.

We repeatedly asked for recent assessments and adjustments throughout the meeting, only to be met with refusals. It felt like the meeting had been set up not to genuinely discuss our son’s needs but to provoke a reaction from us—an impression that was only reinforced by the lack of any meaningful discussion or the provision of relevant information.

A Heartbreaking Outcome

In Term 3, we attended a meeting that was supposed to be a “consultation on adjustments meeting”, but instead, it felt like a setup. Relevant information was withheld, and the meeting seemed designed to provoke a reaction rather than foster a solution. Despite our efforts to remain calm and constructive, the frustration of being repeatedly ignored and dismissed led to tension. This was then used against us, with the school claiming that our behaviour was intimidating and unacceptable.

The reality is that this was not an isolated incident. We have seen how other parents and children at the school have been treated, and we know we are not alone in feeling bullied by the school’s leadership. Yet, in our case, the school’s response was drastic—they chose to remove our son from their community altogether. They didn’t just expel him; they expelled us, his parents, who have been fighting tooth and nail for his right to a fair education.

The Emotional Toll

The loss of our son from this school community is not just an administrative action; it’s a heartbreak for our family. He loved his school, his friends, and the joy of learning. To be cast out in this way feels like a betrayal—not just to us as his parents, but to our son, who deserved so much better.

As parents, we did everything we could to advocate for our child. We followed the proper channels, provided the requested information, and remained open to dialogue. But in the end, our voices were silenced by those in power. The leadership at this educational institution has demonstrated that they prioritise their own interests over our child's well-being.

A Call to Action

This experience has left us questioning what kind of community we were really a part of. A community that claims to be inclusive should not cast out a child like our son for the perceived sins of his parents. We want other parents to know that what happened to us could happen to anyone who dares to stand up for their child’s rights.

We’re sharing our story not just to express the sadness we feel in losing our place at the school, but to shed light on the injustices that are happening behind closed doors. If you’re a parent at this school, or any school, we encourage you to stay aware. Ask questions, seek openness, and ensure your child never becomes another name that quietly fades away.

Our son may be missing from the grounds of his school, but his spirit of determination and courage lives on in us. We will continue to fight for what is right, not just for him but for every child who deserves a chance to learn and grow in a safe, supportive environment.

In the end, it’s not just our son who’s missing from school—we're grieving the loss of a community we believed we belonged to. That’s a loss no family should ever have to experience.